Students gathered at LBCC’s “Don’t Crash Out” Wellness Workshop and discussed the differences between healthy and abusive relationships with the assistance of student resources.
The event opened with an introduction of the types of relationships in their day-to-day lives, such as the ones at home with family, work, friendships and romantic partners.
Insight was shared into what these everyday interactions looked, sounded and felt like and what is healthy or harmful about them.
Students then filled out a chart together to identify traits of abuse and ways of fulfilling needs and wants of partners, family members or friends while discussing the significance of being able to distinguish them, as they are vital to navigating community and avoiding abusive cycles.
After separating them, students were advised on strategies for managing conflict that emphasized resolution and reflection.
These are significant in building healthy relationship strategies because they allow each person to acknowledge how they feel while still cooperating with the needs of their partner, friend or family member.
Most participants from the event shared that they struggle putting up boundaries in their relationships and in advocating for themselves.
Students were taught that using “I” statements during a conflict can be a way to take ownership of emotions and help remove shame and guilt from the interaction because it encourages others to take accountability for the things they feel and give others the same attention.
According to event leader and medical clinician Daisy Cook, disagreements are a normal part of a relationship, and it’s important to leave room for compromise in the process of peacemaking.
“It takes awareness, effort, and insight to be responsible,” Cook said.
With Cook’s help, students learned about personal boundaries and how they are especially important when maintaining healthy habits in relationships, as they bring awareness to what people are comfortable and uncomfortable with.
“I think we all struggle with that, how to establish the boundaries and just keep them and knowing that it’s not you being dismissive or rude to somebody because you, in that moment, can’t do something or can’t be present for them,” student Salina Rivera said.
The cycle of abuse is commonly understood as a four-stage process beginning with the building of tension, an abusive incident, a honeymoon phase where an abuser shows remorse and a period of calm where abuse slows or stops while the abuser’s sincerity decreases over time.
“I watch out for a good friend, he got divorced. I know now, if I do go through unhealthy relationships, I’ll know the signs,” student Nathane Tubin said.
Students attending Long Beach City College are able to access resources if they or someone they know is in need of help, guidance and support regarding abuse, such as mental health services, legal services and more.
Assistance can be found at LAC’s A building and GG Building at TTC, with online assistance being offered through “TimelyCare” where students can speak to a mental health professional 24/7 with 12 visits per year.
