Correction: A change was made to avoid potentially insensitive language.
Tormented by a childhood plagued with bullying, loneliness, and insecurities, 26-year-old Mexican-American Karla Antunec was introduced to a new cultural world after meeting her Moroccan boyfriend on a pen pal app called Sweet Talk and converting to Islam.
“I don’t want to say that I converted to Islam just because of him, because that’s rude, but he showed me the religion and I liked the message of peace,” Antunec said.
“I feel comfortable being Muslim.”
Growing up, Antunec, who has always described herself as timid, had no recollection of a period in her past where she had anyone to call a friend.
“I remember the first semester of my senior year in high school, I ate lunch everyday by myself in a classroom because no one wanted to eat with me. I still never got my high school diploma. I just started to get so tired of school,” Antunec said.
“Kids used to bully me a lot, and because of that it’s hard for me to feel beautiful. Basically what people always used to tell me was that I look like a man because I have a mustache and even now, I have neighbors that tell me how ugly I look in my Hijab and how much better I will look without it.”
In a determined search to find companionship, like many other young adults who live an isolated life, Antunec turned to the app Sweet Talk to connect with people from all around the world.
“I just went online to talk to someone. I wasn’t really interested in going online to be in a relationship,” Antunec said.
Despite the negative remarks pertaining to her looks, and men neglecting to date her in person, her online network of friends seemed to think quite the opposite, and her inbox was swarming with chivalrous messages.
“It was weird when guys would tell me that I am pretty and stuff like that,” Antunec said.
“It was guys telling me this stuff from other countries. I started to laugh because they were telling me that they love me, but they don’t even know me. I met my first boyfriend on the app because he was the only one who took the time to get to know me.”
After simultaneously talking to other penpals on the app, her first relationship fizzled and she started paying closer attention to her current boyfriend of two years, 25-year-old Nabil Elmodeen, who lives in Morocco.
“He made me understand that the other long distance relationship I was in was not going to work out. I like that he found the time to ask how my day was going. I like most that he was very caring of me,” Antunec said.
Arguments between the couple would arise from Antunec’s doubts about Elmodeen’s intentions.
Antunec took pride in helping her boyfriend in any way she could, like giving him money for school textbooks and travel but some members of her family could not come around to the idea of them dating.
“My dad is not very supportive of the relationship. He thinks that Nabil is trying to use me for money or a green card,” Antunec said.
Elmodeen speaks very little english so the majority of their relationship is spent communicating via direct messages and emails.
“I have never spoken with him before, but as long as he treats her right and she is comfortable, I approve of them dating,” said Karla’s 16-year-old sister, Elizabeth Antunec.
This past summer, Antunec decided to put her relationship to the test and fly over 15 hours across the world to see Elmodeen in the flesh.
Seeing each other for the first time brought on a wave of emotions.
“When I first saw her I thought she was good,” Elmodeen said.
“When I first landed and saw him for the first time, I wanted to cry because I was so happy finally seeing him in person,” Antunec said.
During her trip to Morocco, Elmodeen showed Antunec the ways of his culture and the principles of his religion.
“It is not important for my girlfriend to be Muslim, Islam faith does not make me marry a Muslim, I took her to the mosque with me and showed her videos and she chose from there,” Elmodeen said.
When Antunec came back to the states, she faced a number cultural challenges.
Antunec’s parents were born and raised in Jalisco, Mexico.
Mexico has a population of over 125 million people and over 90% of the nation practices christianity.
Less than 0.01% of the Mexican population is of the Islamic faith.
Antunec, now being the only Muslim in her family, had to explain the fundamentals of the religion and why she gravitated towards Islam to friends and family.
“My parents don’t understand why she chose that religion. We grew up very Mexican and very Christian, so it is taking me a while to understand it too. They are cool with her choice now, but it took a lot of coming around in the beginning,” said Elizabeth.
Because Antunec still resides with her parents, she makes continuous attempts to incorporate her parents in her religious practices.
“My mom is supportive of me. I invited my dad to the mosque for Ramadan but he never showed up,” Antunec said.
Regardless of what her family thinks about her conversion, Antunec is regularly going to the mosque to pray and has enrolled in Arabic classes so she can better understand the quran.
With Elmodeen having difficulties getting a visa to enter the United States, Antunec plans to travel back to Morocco in the near future.
“Next time she comes to Morocco, I will ask her to be my wife,” Elmodeen said.
Antunec feels that she finally found a religion that she can connect with and no matter the fate of her relationship with Elmodeen, she will always be Muslim.
“Nabil’s sister let me know that even if the relationship doesn’t work out, being with NabilI has taught me so much. I found Allah and I traveled to places I have never been before, and I agree with her,” Antunec said.