On November 12, a workshop about relationships for student parents was held by Long Beach City College mental health clinician, Brianna Reyes. The workshop started at 2:30 and lasted one hour.
The main premise of the workshop was about attachments, and managing partners in a relationship.
There are different types of attachments and each have their own severity. One of the attachment styles is called a secure attachment.
Reyes said, “Secure attachment is that we can trust them easily or tuned to emotions, communicate when upset, and lead to cooperative and flexible behavioral relationships.”
Secure attachments have a balanced relationship where both partners feel comfortable together. There is a positive atmosphere and environment in this attachment style.
The other type of attachment style is an anxious attachment style.
Some symptoms include “sensitive nervous system, difficulty communicating, tends to act out when triggered, so not really feeling secure in the relationship,” as described by Reyes.
These partners are usually needy and anxious. They feel the need to prove their self-worth.
An avoidant or dismissive attachment style is when a partner is very independent and can feel isolated. They are not really into the relationship and have a desire to leave.
There may also be trust problems in the relationship. The partner can easily walk away from the relationship.
Reyes said, “They may have a lot of barriers. They may not be looking for it.”
In a fearful attachment style, the partner is paranoid and confrontational.
Reyes said some symptoms include, “strongly fears rejection, has low self-esteem, has high anxiety, afraid of criticism.” They can chase their partner away.
The most important factor to practice In order to create good attachment styles is to be aware of the problems, and work on fixing them.
Reyes reiterated that attachment styles can be fluid and shift to other styles. However, most attachment styles are established early on in childhood.
There are some ways that an individual can change attachment styles.
“Books on attachment styles might be helpful, but I definitely think getting support in health services or meeting with someone who can help you point out some of these things and create connections,” Reyes said.
“You can do it independently, and that just means doing the research. Maybe find some really great books on some different techniques, but it might mean even getting some support from someone who has knowledge in these matters like a mental health provider,” she said.
Afterwards, Reyes explained the characteristics of unhealthy relationships and codependency. This can lead to a loss of self. She also discussed physical violence.
LBCC student Lena Hopkins has experienced an unhealthy relationship before.
Hopkins said, “It wasn’t a bad relationship, we grew apart from each other and weren’t communicating our wants and our needs. So we had to get marriage counseling.”
Hopkins said she learned talking to someone is very helpful and can help an individual move on from the situation.
Reyes ended the workshop by reviewing some of the tips and strategies learned during that time.