African American Women and the Superwoman Complex was an event live streamed by LBCC administrative staff members on February 23 to over 50 participants as part of LBCC’s Black Heritage Month celebration.
The workshop discussed how being a Black woman in America often comes with overwhelming expectations that can cause physical, mental, and emotional distress.
Black women are expected to fit into the mold as the strong, nurturing backbone of society. Juggling these expectations while also trying to finish school, work full time, and possibly raising kids can seem impossible. This is known as the “superwoman complex”.
Erainia Freeman, Department Head of Counseling at Long Beach City College felt that this topic was important to discuss because she realized a lot of students of color were burdened with these expectations.
“Just looking at the various roles African American women play … and just looking at all of the different things that we juggle and looking at the physical and mental impact of feeling like you have to do everything and hold everything together simultaneously…we find that a lot of women, as well as students, encounter that same thing,” Freeman said.
She, as well, was indirectly taught by her parents at an early age that she needed to have a certain attitude about life. She was expected to power through and keep moving, even when she was tired.
While the idea of being a strong Black woman is supposed to be endearing it often overlooks the mental and emotional toll that society places on them. When they are told that they have to be the advocate, provider, and mentor for everyone else it begs the question: Who is there for these women?
A couple of participants noted that even though therapy could be an option it is not always accessible. Some may struggle financially, being single mothers, or those who don’t have a safe space to talk about their feelings are at a disadvantage.
Also, many of the participants admitted that they only feel comfortable speaking with Black female therapists because it is more likely they will have similar experiences. A demographic that is lacking in the Long Beach area.
Briana Reyes, a licensed Marriage and Family therapist, encouraged the participants to utilize self-care as a way to destress and keep a positive mindset. Self-care could be anything from taking a walk, painting, reading a book, or eating healthier. It is meant to be a way to relax and rejuvenate the soul.
Freeman prefers to spend her down time talking with friends and having productive conversations about life. Pre-pandemic she enjoyed frequenting restaurants and taking in the atmosphere.
She claimed another way Black women can find help is to seek good mentorship. This way they don’t feel so alone in their struggle with balancing school, work and personal issues. Having a mentor to confide in when feeling overwhelmed can help release built up fear and anxiety.
Throughout the workshop the hosts gave the participants the opportunity to discuss how the superwoman complex has impacted their own lives and the ways they have coped with it. Many participants spoke about their struggles with having to deal with stereotypes other people may have of them as Black women while also trying to overcome everyday obstacles.
The idea of having to always be the strong Black woman is exhausting and only adds to the mountain of stress they may already be feeling.
The “strong Black woman” trope is not just something that this generation of Black women have had to deal with.
Historically, Black women have always had to take care of everyone else before their own needs were met. In the media they are depicted as resilient, nurturing, and devoted people.
Rarely do Black female leads get emotional or ask for help. It is a societal expectation as well as a cultural one. This depiction of Black women can negatively affect the way they see themselves and their personal issues.
Alicia Kirkwood, Dean of Student Affairs at LBCC, shared that it was fixated in her mind as a child that she was expected to be strong no matter what life threw at her. She too understood that the issue was cultural and that she was no exception to the rule.
“This idea of being strong and persevering was just so natural … you just get it done. It’s just what we do,” Kirkwood said.
She also spoke about how she continues to struggle with expectations people have of her in both her professional and private life.
Kirkwood claimed her overwhelming feelings don’t stem from her work load but rather the expectations people may have of her and knowing that people constantly look toward her, especially because she considers herself a servant to the people.
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What helps her navigate her emotions and deal with these expectations is exercising, reading spiritual books and spending time with her family.
While Kirkwood agrees with Freeman that bBack women should find a mentor to help them navigate their struggles, they don’t necessarily need to look for a professional. She noted that white supremacy is real and many professional spaces are marginalized so it’s easy to feel out of place. The best thing to do is find someone trustworthy who believes in you and your worth.
Freeman hopes that the workshop was able to inspire the participants to put themselves first and find a support system that can help them through the hard times.
“I hope the participants learned the importance of self-care … and just the importance of realizing that we don’t have to do everything on our own. We don’t have to be the superwoman,” Freeman said.