Monogamy is widely accepted among society as what would be considered a normal relationship. However, this is just an idealization of the harsh reality of monogamous relationships, which tend to only sometimes work.
According to a 2021 survey done by Health Testing Centers where 441 people were polled, 46% of people in monogamous relationships admitted to having affairs outside their relationships.
Non-consensual polyamory seems to be more common than consensual polyamory between couples, and yet comparecamp.com reported that 1,912 Americans were asked about how they felt about polyamory and 56% felt that it was morally incorrect.
For some people, polyamory just makes sense. Many people do not get into polyamourous relationships simply to sleep with other people, although that does seem like a perk, most people’s reasoning goes beyond lust.
Polyamory can help those who do not want to confine themselves to the restrictive guidelines of monogamy feel more confident in their self identity. This holds to be especially true for people in the LGBTQ+ community, where polyamory is more prevalent than in heteronormative couples.
Psychology today also reported that People who identify as bisexual/pansexual tend to be more likley to identify as being in an open relationship. The same goes for gay men as well who have the highest rates of polyamorous relationships.
Some couples can be the perfect match personality wise while not being sexually compatible. Maybe you fall for someone that checks all your boxes and your head over heels for them, except one. Perhaps they’re asexual or have sexual desires your not comfortable fufilling.
It would be a travesty to break a bond that works beyond sex. Open relationships can help to fulfill the parts of people’s lives that are lacking. Relationships are not black and white and there is not always a simple answer to every couple’s problem.
Psychology Today reported that 45 percent of consensual non-monogamous relationships consist of a primary relationship with secondary relationships that are less committed. These types of relationships showed significantly more intimacy between the primary relationships, meaning polyamory doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice the intimacy of having what’s known as “your other half”.
Polyamory can actually increase emotional closeness between primary partners. Having a non-monogamous relationship means having to be intune with your partner’s emotions, since jealousy can still pose a threat to these types of relationships. There is more room for effective communication, since there is also less incentive for couples to withhold information from each other.
Polyamorous relationships can also help with the longevity of relationships. According to The Daily Mail, the average relationship lasts 2 years and 9 months.
For polyamorous couples on the other hand, the average relationship between primary couples last about 8 years, Psychology Today reported.
Despite this information, one in four couples that identify as polyamourous have faced discrimination for their lifestyle preferences. This can discourage a lot of people from publicly admitting being in relationships like this and can also deter those who may be interested in knowing more about consensual non-monogamy.
There are many monogamous couples that end up switching to consensual non-monogamy further into their relationship as well. This adjustment can improve communication skills and can offer a better chance at couples having a healthy long lasting relationship.
Consensual non-monogamy is not only for the sex-crazed hedonist. People in polyamourous relationships seek greater relationship satisfaction with their romantic partners.